Improved
Feedback
Q. I get the sense that people in my organization are measuring
the words they use when I ask for feedback. They seem to be
looking to say what they think I want them to say. Any thoughts
on that?
A.
In the way you asked the question, you may have modeled the
kind of openness that’s needed to get what you seem to want.
We all signal to some extent what we want from others. In
seeking straight feedback, we must reduce the strength of
the opposing signals so people will give us what we say we
want. Here’s a model that may be of use to you:
The
Five Step Model
1. Introduce the Topic
2. Seek the Other’s view
3. Contribute your view
4. Identify Differences
5. Plan next steps- NO REPRISALS
Some
Keys to Success:
Most of us "tip our hand" about the feedback
we are looking for. You must introduce the topic with
as neutral a presentation as possible. Give the topic
introduction without adding an edge to it.
By seeking the other’s view before revealing your
own, you maintain the neutral posture begun in the
first step. Ask questions to test your understanding
of the other’s views. Be alert to the possibility
of defensiveness on both your part and the other
person, also.
When you contribute your view, you are taking
the role of an equal in a discussion. Phrase your
views in a non-threatening manner, as, "As
I see it," or, "From my perspective,"
and be brief. Now is not the time to "pull
rank" or to put the other person on the defensive.
Check on your effectiveness. Does the other person
seems to want to back away from the view they
have expressed? If so, you may have been too forceful,
or may have acted out of your organizational position.
We have all experienced it. History is also
replete with examples. The fabled king who had
no clothes, the Nixon White House, bosses who
say that they want to hear even the bad news,
and "kill" the messenger, are instances
where the person delivering the feedback suffered
for their forthrightness
Next steps could include enlisting the other
person to observe the issue again, with a promise
to do likewise yourself. Plan a time to revisit
the topic with the same person.
Gentle Reader: What was useful for
you? What other perspective would you offer?
Will you share that with
me? I will post groups of some
excerpted or edited comments with attribution.
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